To Stutter, to Yell

Would You Stay with Me?

si me voy contigo,
a dónde me llevarias?
con corazón de ritmo, 
algunos dias de piedra

si mi alma se cansa,
te quedarías conmigo?
seguridad, fantasma
temblando, auxilio


Proper Place

is there anyone who can birth me again
in a proper place?
what plea would help you believe
that i might be worth anything?

how much of me would you like to sever?
american dream, what scary treasure

come to my table, instead eat with me

i drink like you
i sneeze like you
i breathe like you
what if i'm like you?


sometimes i go out
to grab berries
from the tree just to squeeze
to see if there’s juice

in the same vain, i go out
to push you away
from me just to see
see if you give a damn,

i wish you were sadder
oh my god, what am i after
i'm sorry i can’t believe you
you say you love me, why do i need proof

i wish i was better
for this time, i wouldn’t measure
how you show your love for me
& maybe then, i just might be free


the river never stutters when it sings
& as honey on my fingers, you don't love me comfortably
i taste u more than i believe me
even so, you’re still weak with me

you saw me, a coward
i saw me, 
a lustful petrified boy 

i can't wait to stop falling in love
with how you make me feel
unclench my jaw, a tremble offering, 
i'll give you what i've got 

oh honey, how you don't love me easy  

To Stutter, to Yell

(feat. Corey Kilgannon)

sweat beating down onto your counter,
i'm not allowed to feel it
arm wrapped around your shoulder,
stumble, crying foul but i did this

i know its wrong but i still go - i don’t like this about myself
i know its wrong but it feels good to deceive me and deceive you

where can i hide
you embarrass me
with my own life, 
i cower violently

if its so wrong why do i go - exhausted by my search
if its so wrong why’s it feel good to deceive me and forget about you

my hand on your chest,
you held like a ruby
when i didn't,
callous liminality

found love so sure, but it’s so sharp - you’ll stay here with me but i lie alone
if being forgiven makes one flippant, my sin is hesitance


© 2018 Anthony Alvarado